Is she going to do it?

Is she going to miss a blog post –  not one, but TWO weeks in a row!? Well, yes. Almost? Kind of.

There seems to be so many things as of late that I want to say. Things I love, things I’ve just discovered, things that amaze me, intrigue me, fascinate and inspire me. Small things. Things that frustrate me. Things that make me happy. Random things and focused things. Some how, altogether, nothing at all. And that is why this is not a real blog post.

I have a tendency to write in a sort of erupting fashion. I ruminate for days, sometimes weeks, quietly about something and then I sit down with a joint and it oozes out of my finger tips. I pause to smoke, and I smile at Bob Marley on the wall next to me. I breath deeply. I shut my eyes sometimes. I look back at the screen and start to nitpick, but remind myself to read the sign on the wall Write First. Edit Later. I know the sign is lying to me, I won’t have time to ‘edit later’. I smoke, and I write. I occasionally feel disassociated as though my fingers and my mind are working together from different planets.   I have been interrupted with the question “What is your blog about this week?” And been unable to respond without pulling the blog up to check. I love it. When I have something to say and my fingers just has to sprinkle the keyboard with some message I love it. Today, however, that is less than true.

Today I don’t have that ‘urge’ to write. Believe me, it is not a lack of medication either. I’m perplexed by the change. Is it just that I missed last week? Am I simply exhausted and something has got to give? I don’t know what it is, but nothing can change that it’s my thing and sometimes I love the blazes out of this thing so I will fight for it.

So there it is. Thoughtless. Written. Published. Amateur. You’re welcome.

The only thing that is different this week is I don’t have a message or a story really. If I had to pick out a message, I suppose it would be to take better care of yourself and do the things that you want to do that you love to do because now is your time. Now is my time. Right now, is the only time.

One Love ~ SMK



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