Thursday Pot Thoughts: Volume 7

As I sit here, reading through the screen shots of cell phones playing pranks on parents, this blog is nagging at the back of my head. It is Thursday again folks, and we all know what that means. Sweet Mary Kane is going to let the crazy ooze from her fingertips. Letting the crazy out is always better than letting the crazy in and you’re the one who is reading this. I’m just saying.

 

It’s not that I don’t want to write my blog anymore. It’s more that, with so much going on lately, it’s too loud in here to sort all out and get it down with any kind of clarity. And by here I mean in my mind. Though technology … Oh how I love thee, Oh how I hate thee … I’m certain contributes to the rapid pace of my life. In fact, the prank I’m scrolling through now came to me just that way. I couldn’t tell you who’s feed or which platform it came from yet here I am reading it.

 

The prank I am referring to is one in which teens sent a text to their parental figures that read “Got 2 grams for 40$?!”  Followed by the text “Never mind, that wasn’t for you.”. The responses are amusing. One individual evidently has his mother fooled as she buys it when he replies “Grammar Books” and she offers up more money. I wonder how I would respond. I suppose that I would wonder why they didn’t just ask me.  Then again I tend to over think so perhaps I would take it as a question rather than a declaration, after all punctuation containing both an exclamation point and a question mark seems to me to swing either way.

 

Set the pranks aside and focus on the kids. Which sorts of things do I provide my children in terms of education of Cannabis? What information did my parents give me? What information did my parents have? Where am I going to get more information? It’s a whole new landscape forming right before my eyes, and it is marvelous. I am so honored and truly highly favored to be able to bear witness to its evolution. I can’t wait to see what’s next. My sincerest gratitude to you all.

 

Sweet Mary Kane

Thursday Pot Thoughts: Volume 5

Why is it that life seems to throw everything at you at once? I had plenty of time to write my blog this week until I took on four document projects with imminent deadlines. Two power points, a slideshow/movie, and a PDF later my eye balls are rolling around in my head. Staring at this screen my eyes are playing tricks on me. Yet I feel a responsibility to get out this blog, if only I can make it before that midnight EST so its still Thursday in the US at least. While it would have been nice for everything to come at me slower, maybe a project every few days with deadlines at least two weeks out, I wouldn’t change my life for the world.

 

I seriously just nodded off at the keyboard so I’m just going to leave you guys with 10 facts … you’ll get over it.

 

1. I believe that the prohibition of Cannabis is L.O.N.G. overdue to be lifted.

2. I would rather hear “Fuck YOU MOM!” from my kids than “I hate you.”

3. I believe in reincarnation 

4. In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. That’s where the phrase, “goodnight, sleep tight” came from.
5. It’s not that I hate gaga, I’d just rather her go away now.
6.One in three dog owners say they have talked to their pets on the phone.
7. I’ve lost 52 lbs since moving to Denver.
8. In Oregon they list the hair color you were born with on your drivers license. In Colorado they have a bald option.
9. The DMV employee still asked me what I wanted to list as my hair color.
10. If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.

One Love ~

SMK

 

Dear Cannabis: Will you be mine?

 

Valentine that is, when I say to you “be mine” I do not me that I should own you. You bring me the type of joy one can’t hide behind sunglasses. Give me such wealth of love its abundance overflows from my soul. And I would have to say this is one of those open type relationships. Not open like I don’t care who else you see but open like I trust you and I don’t care who else you see, as long as you see me.

 

Cannabis, you have saved me from myself a time or two. Relieved my own pain on numerous occasions and so much more. Your potential amazes me. I look forward to discovering more about you as we grow old together. The number of ailments and people you have helped is astounding. You inspire me to be a better me.

 

I promise to, maintain integrity, moderately educate, investigate science, assert my voice to our elected officials, exhibit professionalism, and manifest global quality of life improvement while showing my support for you. I want to be your valentine every day.

 

All my love,

 

Sweet Mary Kane

Thursday Pot Thoughts: Volume 4 (not twenty … yet).

I may have told you guys this story before, but it has been on my mind lately a lot, so I’m going to talk about it. One night this summer my whole family was piled in the car on our way up the interstate heading home. Just before a white SUV whizzed past us my boyfriend said “Look at this guy!” We were traveling at least 75 mph maybe 80 mph even, and that vehicle just blew by us like we were at a stand still. Within seconds I muttered “He’s going to lose control of that vehicle.” pointing at it as I watched it began to shudder during a lane change. Sure enough we saw it head sharply toward the median and then back toward the center lane. Did they hit the wall? I thought.

We all smelled it before we saw the break lights and in an instant were at a dead stop. It seemed like eons before my brain pieced it together. What do you see? The SUV is stopped at an angle in the center lane. I cannot see drivers side. Did they hit the median? There’s a body in the road.WHAT!? There is a body in the road. Where did it come from? The windows are all intact. Slow motion set in as the gears in my mind turned trying to solve the puzzle. And then it happened, the SUV pulled forward 100 yards into the left lane. There was a motorcycle under the SUV. You don’t have your phone. “HAZARDS!” I declared “I don’t have a phone, find yours and call 911.” I’m out of the car. “Stay in the car.” I say to the back seat in a tone no child would ever question. I’m dressed for a birthday party, but I jog toward the injured man in my heels regardless. Not everyone is stopping. He lifts he head up and makes eye contact with me as I approach. I’m almost to him when he reaches for the face mask he was wearing. He’s not wearing a helmet. “Sir. Please do not move.” I instruct him. I know he comprehends me because he immediately puts his arm back at his side and his forehead to the street. “I am a CNA!” I hear a young woman exclaim. I tag out. KIDS!Not everyone is stopping! My head is battling itself with priorities. PLATE!

“Get the plate,” I hear my boyfriend call as if we’re having the same experience. I turn back to get the number only to find it’s brand new and the tinted windows are too dark to read the temporary tag. I dash back to the car and ask the man parked behind me not to move his car. He is a prison security guard in uniform, he agrees. I look at the faces of my children. They are wide eyed but not hysterical. I hold up one finger and nod at them, they nod back. Traffic already direct the traffic!  I couldn’t honestly say how we communicated, hand signals, yelling, telepathically, I think it was probably all of the above, but my boyfriend and I took up the traffic controlling. Miracle! We are in line with an on-ramp and an ambulance just happens to be heading up it. Maybe three minutes have passed. The sun is setting. From no where a man jumps over the median and begins running at us. He doesn’t make it to me before my boyfriend intervenes. He is dressed in biker clothing. The man was waiting to meet his friend who never arrived. We send him to the hospital. He verifies that is indeed his missing friends bike.

My boyfriend manages to close off the left side of the highway with the help of other drivers forming a blockade with us. I am stopping and starting traffic from the right lane into the on ramp lane where they can get around the accident if no one is coming up the ramp. I have no means to block this route, other than my body, which loses in a fight to a car every time. A car comes speeding up the on-ramp, and I gasp. They hit no one. My boyfriend comes to my aid and begins directing the oncoming ramp traffic to slow down. We have no flares. They can’t see him. Another car zooms past as he raises his arms, willing them to slow down. He’s going to try to cross. I hear the engine revving up before I even see the black coupe, but I can’t see the driver. I’m fixated on my boyfriend who has stepped out in front of this car to get it’s attention. Time froze, and I saw every possibility in that moment. My brain flashed threw clip after clip of outcomes until my mind zeroed in on the one that it wanted. He twisted and leapt into a matrix fast float out of harms way. We don’t jump that way, people only move that way in the movies, but he did. Safety praise Jah! The car slowed and missed the EMTs also.

Abruptly traffic from both directions stopped. Ten minutes have passed. Police have arrived and shut down the interstate. I am so relieved to be back in the car with my children. My boyfriend is running around talking to other witnesses and police. You should have taken pictures before they moved him. I grab my tablet and snap a picture of the bike as it lie in from my car door. I want my boyfriend to get back in the car. He doesn’t. The officers inform us that the driver had been apprehended a quarter of a mile up the interstate where they lost control of the vehicle. They had not hit anyone else. Three more hours pass before we are told they will call the officer on the on ramp and let him know we’re coming down. It’s well past the hour for bed on a school night. They don’t call and we can’t pass the squad car without it moving. The officer gets out of his car and is approaching ours swiftly pulling his mag-lite from his belt as he does. “Where did you come from?” he shines the light on us and heads back to move his car without listening to our explanation.

The next day I Google search the accident. I find two links that seem to reference the accident but when I click them the both redirect me to an ‘article has been removed’ page. In the following weeks I searched several times over and came up with zip. Who the devil was in that SUV? I can not even find out if the man survived. I give up. I resign that whoever was driving that SUV was important enough to be protected and so I would never find anything more out. I don’t search it and I forget the date for months.

Then suddenly I begin remembering the man’s face clear as day, the perplexity in his eyes. I remember thinking how much worse his internal injuries must have been at that speed than what his outward physique revealed. What did you say to him? I wish that I would have said “Sir, my name is Sweet Mary Kane and I am here to help you. Please attempt to lay still in case you have a spinal injury. Someone is calling 911 right now.” I wish that I would have offered more comfort than “Sir. Please don’t move.” I wish I could have asked his name and sent flowers. You wish you knew if he made it. That’s true. Perhaps today is the day I Google it again.

2013 ~ Sweet Mary Kane’s Year of Being Love

It’s 2013, and for the first time in my life I have no expectations of the events to come throughout the year. I am relaxed yet eager. When I look back over the slide show of my 2012, I can’t hold back tears of joy. What an extraordinary journey I had! Never in a million years would I have told you that I’d be doing the things that I made habits in 2012.

Prior to my experiences with Cannabis I wasted so many years, never satisfied. Which wasn’t the exact problem, but rather that I didn’t even know what I wanted the outcome to be. All events were equally not enough; I always needed more and was certain I would never have it. Ever. And that’s the type of thinking that gets you in this messed up sort of situation in your head. A sort of standstill in which you can not satisfy yourself because you don’t have a direction to go in and you can’t find your direction because you’re dissatisfaction has robbed you of hope.

Right about now you’re asking yourself where the hell is she going with this dark depressing hogwash? Maybe this year I can break that answering all questions in a round-a-bout story telling manner, but I doubt it.

Looking back I had every reason in every moment to be grateful, and Cannabis allowed me to do that all year long. 2012 went by before I could blink. I moved in with the love of my life. I got to see Cypress Hill, twice. I golfed at the Loews Ventana Canyon Resort (Mountain course). I had the pleasure of staying across the hall from the glamourous Ms Elvy Musikka whom I just love and adore. My children are excelling academically and extra circularly. I met more incredible, wonderful, enlightening people in one year than I ever have in my life. I ran 56 flights of stairs in 12 minutes and 50 seconds. I connected with my kindred sister, Zen, a saving grace in my life. We completed Tough Mudder Beaver Creek, CO in 5 hours and 40 minutes. My eyes and ears have been graced with so much incredible information, education, anecdotal evidence, passion and love my mind can’t absorb the magnitude of it all. I golfed, I golfed, and I golfed and was lucky enough to participate in The Clinics 3rd Annual Golf Tournament. I VOTED. I wrote letters and made phone calls all year long (you might laugh if you got your hands on my cell phone contact list which includes FDA, White House, Medical Marijuana Enforcement Division, and the like).  For the first time,  I went skiing, and I didn’t die! I was given the opportunity to help the school children with their ‘who’ makeup for the Grinch play. I witnessed the first ever Cannabis Business Awards. And at the end of every day I get to tuck my kids in and fall asleep next to my soul mate. These are the reasons I know that I am on the “favorite children of Earth” list. I have been so abundantly blessed, and I can’t wait to get this year’s giving back underway.

So let me get to the point already. If everything in 2012 happened just the same way, except I wasn’t medicating with Cannabis I have no doubt that I would be unsatisfied without justification another year.

It feels good to have no expectations of whats to come yet know that it’s going to be brilliant! It feels really good to just be love.

Christmas Gift List : SMK Ideas

Disclaimer: Do NOT buy your significant other any of the items listed without a great backup plan. Sweet Mary Kane is not a gift giving adviser. In fact you’d have to have one crazy ass girlfriend for her to appreciate SMK gifts. 

 

Eyeliner 

Calendar 

Q-Tips

Towels

Pant Hangers

THIS Necklace

Socks

Knitting Needles

Cards

Keychain

Planner

Skype Dollars

Candy

Papers

Coffee Pot

Sheets

Book

Flowers

I Am a Federal Criminal

Before I go into details let’s talk about the other things that I am. I recognize myself as so much more than merely a federal criminal. Just as you are not your occupations, your spouse, your election decision, your diet, or any one thing about you alone there is more to me than this one nasty label.

The first thing I am is a mother, it’s even on my business card, and it’s the only title on my business card. My children have been the biggest blessing in my life. They are a gift to me. They bring me responsibility. They show me new ways to view the world. They grant me laughter. I gain everything and it has been an honor to watch them grow into the intelligent, compassionate, generous young men that they are. Just like any other parent I want to provide them with more than I had for myself. They will grow and know so much more than I can possibly comprehend and I wish for nothing more than the ability to prepare them to navigate and improve upon this Earth.

Next I am community member. I believe in the people. I am peaceful. I participate in my own life and the lives of others. I show up. I put forth the effort and base my decisions on conscious understanding of doing the next right thing. I listen. I laugh. I love. I commit time and energy to charity events from the American Lung Association to the Wounded Warrior Project. I know my neighbors. I help strangers push their cars to the station when they run out of gasoline. I smile. I share. I support. I speak out against any wrong doing I witness in the world. I value the humans and animals on our planet as family.

I am an activist. From the moment I heard that a plant had been outlawed such effrontery of our government has burrowed into my heart and soul calling out for my action. I am not always good at it and I have made mistakes, but I never surrender. I post hand written letters. I make phone calls. I read laws. My contact list includes the White House, the FDA, and the senators and governors of Washington, Colorado, and Oregon. Did you know that the phone is answered “White House” when you call? I phone bank for issues that matter to me.

I could make a very very long list of all the things that I am. Chef, housekeeper, secretary, chauffeur, sister, daughter, girlfriend, woman, writer, and on forever more. However that would be an obnoxiously long blog and I wouldn’t want to do that to you.

So it is that I am also a federal criminal. I don’t want to be a criminal of any sort on any level, let alone of the federal magnitude. Having once ceased use of Cannabis to comply with the federal stance I now follow the laws and regulations of a medical state. I never sell Cannabis or share it with non-patient users. I keep it out of reach and educate my children about it leaving no room for curiosity to get the better of them. I maintain current registration and strict adherence to law, policy, and procedure. I wake up in the morning and I ask myself who I am today and what I am going to do. The answer is always that I will not be afforded a sense of me without being pain free and so today in order to be me I am going to medicate. I am going to break federal law to do it. I will not choose alcohol or prescriptions which chain me to a life of parenting from my bed. I will not live in pain allowing my mental and emotional balance to be disrupted in attempt to compensate for the physical vexation. I will never stop fighting for freedom.

You may see me flagging you down to let you know your brake light is out. You may pull up to Dutch Bros to find that your coffee has already been paid for. You may discover you’re thirty cents short at the market, but there is a helping hand around to lend you the money. I am not alone. You will find my brothers and sisters out there on their own journey to freedom and while you may find some who wouldn’t be labeled federal criminal a lot of us choose Cannabis even if we’re still in the closet.

I have considered sitting down and shutting up in the interest of my children. Then I concluded self censorship for fear of government would be of horrendous consequence. I am a lead by example kind of parent. I must show no fear. I must stand strong and teach them preparation, education, commonality, justice, and faith. Bottom line this is a civil rights issue and I don’t dare to imagine what type of a world we would live in if our historical leaders had let terror gag their messages.

Thursday Pot Thoughts: Volume 3: Roseanne Barr 2012

In 2008 I wanted to be able to vote FOR someone and had my fingers crossed that for Hillary over Barack simply because she was a woman and I thought it was about time – I mean I have a love/hate relationship with feminism but seriously how long did it take for women to get the right to vote after all men could? The answer is nearly half a century! How the hell did it take 49 years when we are practically equal in numbers?

 

I received my mail in ballot yesterday and Roseanne Barr is really on it. I thought that it was just a joke she made at her roast but there she is listed as Peace and Freedom party. I love peace. I love freedom. Why the devil not? I’m thinking. What difference is my vote going to make anyway? I recently saw Roseanne say in an interview that it wasn’t like she was taking the vote from Obama or Romney they’ve already got their party member’s votes. My silly little vote can’t possibly affect the overall outcome, but I have to say she just may actually steal at least one vote from the duo – mine.

 

You see normally I vote against someone by casting my vote for the opposing party Republican or Democrat. Normally I would be voting either Romney or Obama. Normally I would justify to myself how it is perfectly acceptable to cast your vote against someone rather than for someone and reason that if I didn’t do just as I’ve always done then my effort would have been a waste. Maybe I’m getting old and senile or maybe this year there is something in the water but what I would normally do is definitely in question. In fact it’s under downright scrutiny.

 

What would make me want to vote for Obama or Romney? If either one came out in support of ending the prohibition of cannabis they would instantly be attractive to me. Problem: Romney wants to fight legalization tooth and nail (now I can’t have the federal government meddling in my states business). Obama well … I’m torn. I have a feeling the number of federal shut downs during his term is simply due to the increased number of establishments in general. Regardless I am still severely disappointed by his stance on the issue. I mean honestly you’re going to try to feed me that we should be educating people about Cannabis? Because that’s exactly what I’ve been screaming at you with hand written letters, phone calls, and emails! OK so wanting to vote for either of those guys is out of the question.

 

With that established again I have to ask myself. Honestly what would make me want to vote for someone boils down to the willingness to stand up for the truth. The audacity to speak up and side with the people. The courage and humbleness to educate and end the war on Cannabis. So I looked it up. Roseanne does support legalization OPENLY! Actually she supports a lot of stuff that I like. Really, what is the worst that could happen if I voted Roseanne Barr? Why shouldn’t I do something because it’s what I want to do & not what I think is expected of me (even if most strongly expected by none other than ME!)? Do I need to do the things because I want to in order to be happy? I might.

 

What if I didn’t wake up anymore?

Mommy Housewife Confessions

Becoming a single mother of two boys under two years old at 20 years old isn’t exactly theAmerican Dream. Working 50 – 60+ hours a week and sometimes two jobs and often 7 days a week for months on end leaves plenty of room for resentment to fester. When the hell am I going to get a moment to raise my own kids!? I remember often thinking such things as I would drop them off at a day care or school. It seemed that I rarely had the opportunity to spend time with them and when I did I wasn’t exactly at my best. I’m not a morning person, but I can get them ready on zombie mode. And after a long day at work I wasn’t really good mommy material either. I began daydreaming of an alternate life where I could stay home and really dedicate my efforts to my children and family. It’s not as though I would make as much money as a man anyway!

Recently (within the last three months) I have had the opportunity to live life as a ‘stay at home mom‘ and I’m discovering, just like anything else, there are both pros and cons to my circumstance. I don’t know whether to be pissed off at the feminist movement or at the lack of progress, but some days this gig just plain stinks.

On the bright side both of my children are excelling both in academics and extra curricular areas of they’re growth. We’re in a prime location with everything we need. I have been able to teach them basis skills they’ll need when they move out like folding laundry and doing dishes. I may not get what they’re going on about always (I’m not so good at following video game conversations) but I’d say we’re closer to understanding each other that we have been before. It’s nice to have the time to do the extra things when cleaning like wash the base boards and vacuum the air vents. It makes living more comfortable.

Then again, cleaning the base boards doesn’t pay me and no one else seems to think that it’s a valuable contribution to their lives. Plus I’m bored. Folding laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and driving everyone around isn’t exactly exhilarating. I hardly get a second to really focus on just me and when I finally do I’m exhausted. If I want to earn some extra money I have to pile more on my plate and I have more than enough to handle already. It’s like a trap of guilt. If you don’t work you’re a bad mom for not contributing financially to the family and if you do work you get robbed of those moments of exploration and understanding you should be guiding them through. What’s a girl to do?

Keep writing I suppose.

SMK’s Thursday Pot Thoughts: Volume 1

It seems these days I have less and less to say. Go figure I would commit to blogging each Thursday and instantly become the silent pondering type. Unfortunately for you I am also the ‘mean what I say’ type. Thus while the reading may be sluggish, even down right painful, the writing will continue. With that said we now delve into the private thoughts of Sweet Mary Kane.

This week I’ve spent a good deal of time thinking about the people in my life who never change. I am the type of person who is always changing. I embrace expansion, integration, and creation as improvement in my life. After all, as Einstein said, doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is insanity. Even so I have had and continue to have many people in my life who go as far as taking pride in just the opposite. I’m sure at some point in your life you’ve heard “You’ve changed man!” in an argument, as though changing was a bad thing. Or “I’m still the same Joe.” as a defense tactic. And what makes “You haven’t changed a bit.” a complement? Perhaps you’ve even said similar things. And that I am particularly interested in: if you have a non-changing mindset please try to explain it to me in the comments or message as I am having difficulty seeing the other side on my own.

I would have to say that among my circle of close personal friends the majority are “changers”. My other friends (let’s just call them non-changers for ease here) have come into my life from various circumstances of meeting. They are both male and female as well as scattered across age groups. How these relationships developed does not appear to have a link.

Being that the only common denominator is me I shift focus to the why factor. I am inclined to believe that everyone I meet has come into my life for a purpose. There must be a reason that I have not only met these non-changers but I also maintain relationships with them. I could smoke and think until the cats come home on this one. Why do any friendships exist at all? My theory is because you have something that I need and I have something that you need and most of the times that something is simply love. Ah yes, love, I thought I solved my own problem there for a second, but then I realized that love is also the reason that I’ve been fixating on these questions.

You see I’m also the kind of person who when they come across something really nifty or beneficial they want to share it, especially with the people they love. It’s why I won’t shut up about Cannabis and why I teach my children how to problem solve and understand efficiency (among other things), love. It’s also the reason that when I see my friend running themselves into the same wall over and over just taking a different route to get there I want to help them. I want to problem solve. I want to make a change, improvement. This is only a problem, of course, when they’re a non-changer. When they’re a non-changer what options do I have?

In the past I have had the tendency to interject my solutions and even argue when unable to effectively reason my logic with them. I have spent countless hours lost in thought trying to come up with another way to attempt getting them to see the brilliance of my logic. I have worried and cried and said “BOB SAGET I told you so!” more than a fair share of times. Worst of all I have lost far too much sleep. Why haven’t I just cut these people out of my life? What is the reason our journeys have crossed? There has got to be a lesson to learn here.

Well I’ll be damned if I’m not the one being a non-changer in this situation. So I’ve come to the conclusion that I have to change the way that I handle these things. Now the only problem is the how.