It seems these days I have less and less to say. Go figure I would commit to blogging each Thursday and instantly become the silent pondering type. Unfortunately for you I am also the ‘mean what I say’ type. Thus while the reading may be sluggish, even down right painful, the writing will continue. With that said we now delve into the private thoughts of Sweet Mary Kane.
This week I’ve spent a good deal of time thinking about the people in my life who never change. I am the type of person who is always changing. I embrace expansion, integration, and creation as improvement in my life. After all, as Einstein said, doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is insanity. Even so I have had and continue to have many people in my life who go as far as taking pride in just the opposite. I’m sure at some point in your life you’ve heard “You’ve changed man!” in an argument, as though changing was a bad thing. Or “I’m still the same Joe.” as a defense tactic. And what makes “You haven’t changed a bit.” a complement? Perhaps you’ve even said similar things. And that I am particularly interested in: if you have a non-changing mindset please try to explain it to me in the comments or message as I am having difficulty seeing the other side on my own.
I would have to say that among my circle of close personal friends the majority are “changers”. My other friends (let’s just call them non-changers for ease here) have come into my life from various circumstances of meeting. They are both male and female as well as scattered across age groups. How these relationships developed does not appear to have a link.
Being that the only common denominator is me I shift focus to the why factor. I am inclined to believe that everyone I meet has come into my life for a purpose. There must be a reason that I have not only met these non-changers but I also maintain relationships with them. I could smoke and think until the cats come home on this one. Why do any friendships exist at all? My theory is because you have something that I need and I have something that you need and most of the times that something is simply love. Ah yes, love, I thought I solved my own problem there for a second, but then I realized that love is also the reason that I’ve been fixating on these questions.
You see I’m also the kind of person who when they come across something really nifty or beneficial they want to share it, especially with the people they love. It’s why I won’t shut up about Cannabis and why I teach my children how to problem solve and understand efficiency (among other things), love. It’s also the reason that when I see my friend running themselves into the same wall over and over just taking a different route to get there I want to help them. I want to problem solve. I want to make a change, improvement. This is only a problem, of course, when they’re a non-changer. When they’re a non-changer what options do I have?
In the past I have had the tendency to interject my solutions and even argue when unable to effectively reason my logic with them. I have spent countless hours lost in thought trying to come up with another way to attempt getting them to see the brilliance of my logic. I have worried and cried and said “BOB SAGET I told you so!” more than a fair share of times. Worst of all I have lost far too much sleep. Why haven’t I just cut these people out of my life? What is the reason our journeys have crossed? There has got to be a lesson to learn here.
Well I’ll be damned if I’m not the one being a non-changer in this situation. So I’ve come to the conclusion that I have to change the way that I handle these things. Now the only problem is the how.
SweetMaryKane 